I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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