oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
