Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
