i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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