great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
