I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Let the clothes fall where they may.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
