Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
