weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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