I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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