I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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