I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
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