No subtext here. People are naked.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
