Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
