I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
