Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
only if we run a train.
done.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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