you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
