I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
