Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My ass is underappreciated
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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