His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
