I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize