I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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