I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
