As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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