Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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