ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
