So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
