pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
