so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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