I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
