I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
