I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
