New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
