Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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