nut hugger
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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