I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
