She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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