and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Randomize
