But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
