Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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