All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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