Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
