so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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