I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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