what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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