2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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