she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
