then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
she told me i tasted like america
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
