Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
