yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
