THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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