we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
