we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You have to summon your inner elephant
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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