it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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